Heading home

            Today is my last day in Kenya.  I fly out later tonight and arrive in Buffalo on Sunday afternoon.  I’m ending my time here as it began, by myself at Mayfield guesthouse.  Katie left last night, and the guesthouse is quite empty as everyone is leaving before the elections here on Monday. Although I’m leaving in the same position, in some ways I feel like a different person than I was a few months ago.  A vivid memory I have was saying goodbye to my parents and my sister, Catherine, in Jamestown the day before flying to Georgia for orientation in January.  As I went to hug my mom, I unexpectedly burst into tears and cried, “I’m scared!”  I was frightened of the unknown, although I knew that God had called me to come to do this.  Tears are welling up in my eyes now as I prepare to leave and am reminded of the many wonderful and challenging experiences I’ve had since that afternoon.  A song came on the radio as I was driving to Buffalo following that goodbye that I know God wanted me to hear at that moment.  It was “Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)” by Chris Tomlin.  Here are the lyrics to the first verse and the chorus:

You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind 

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The lyrics in bold particularly spoke to me that day and have remained in my mind when I’ve been frustrated or have felt alone here.  God brought me closer to Him through this rotation than I would have thought possible before I left.  Being away from so many of the distractions I have at home as well as the more relaxed, slower pace of life here were a welcome change from the anxieties of interviewing for residency and preparing to graduate medical school.  I know that the coming year will be one of the most challenging of my life as I start internship, and I’m so thankful I was able to have this time away to reflect on what is really important.  My relationship with God has to come first in order for anything else to even make sense.  The missionary doctors and their families made that clear to me at Kapsowar.  I’m praying that my transition will be smooth as I try to incorporate what I’ve learned in Kenya into my life in America.

            As I was writing in my journal the other night I got to thinking about some of the things I will and won’t miss about life in Kapsowar:

Will miss – fresh mangoes everyday, the beautiful environment, the slower pace of life and fewer distractions here, the weather, the missionary families, daily prayer and Bible study with other doctors before work, black currant Fanta, the nurses and staff at the hospital (particularly Lydia and Zena), my roommate, Katie

Won’t miss – Roosters crowing to wake me up daily before 5:30, speaking to patients via translator/not knowing the language, being so conspicuous on my walks, some of the strange smells, getting sick, and frequent power outages

Looking forward to – Seeing my cat!!  Coffee, self-lighting stove and oven, having a microwave, seeing my family and friends, drinking water straight from the tap, ice cream!

Not looking forward to – Coming back to winter, worrying about keeping my focus on seeking God first as I have been here

This has been one of the best times of spiritual growth I’ve had in my life.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to have come here and the privilege it was to learn from the doctors and patients at Kapsowar.  I can’t wait to share more with you all once I’m home!!